It's likely that you're going to feel bad after a relationship ends.

Did you know that on average, everybody goes through three breakups throughout their lives? Breakups can be a very painful experience. Especially if you didn’t see it coming. Once you form an attachment to someone they become biologically, socially, emotionally, and psychologically integrated into your being. Sometimes there is an economic integration as well.

A breakup can be like ripping away a limb from your body—a painful loss indeed! The pain can be even worse if you see your ex often or with someone else. Your emotions can range from feeling worthless to being full of rage. These are normal feelings— however, you must not allow them to drive you to cause further pain and suffering.

Here are some tips to help you survive a breakup...

1. Don't Forget What's Good in Your Life

When your heart has been broken it is difficult to think about anything else. That is why you must be intentional about focusing your thoughts on all the good things going on in your life. Think about the people who love and care about you, your accomplishments, your health, and your value. Don’t believe anybody whose words or deeds devalues you. Focusing on the positives is what it takes to overcome any obstacle and obtain success in any area of life.

2. Only Stay In Healthy Fulfilling Relationships

If you broke up with your ex—you had real reasons that mattered. Take time to talk through those reasons. If your ex broke up with you—remember you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t feel fulfilled and satisfied with you. You may have had some wonderful times with your ex. But were the bad times enough to say this isn’t working? Don’t you want to be in a healthy relationship? Don’t settle. Resolve to be in a healthy mutually fulfilling relationship.

3. Don’t Forget About You

You’re a good person and when the time is right you’ll meet someone again. You’re better off alone than in a bad relationship. The hurt will go away day by day.

What To Do Now

  • Call someone who cares about you and you are comfortable sharing your experience with because you need to get it off your chest.
  • If you are really feeling bad spend the night with a friend or family member.
  • Sometimes talking to a professional counselor can help you feel better much sooner.
  • Write out your thoughts and emotions in a journal. Find or rekindle hobbies. These things will help you process your grief.
  • Recognize it takes time to feel better and give yourself a time to grieve this relationship.
  • Make sure you are taking care of yourself by getting proper nutrition, exercise, sleep, and having fun.
  • Spend some time renewing your relationship with yourself. Take this time for self-improvement—learning who you are and need to be to enjoy a healthy relationship.

What Not To Do Now

  • Don’t isolate yourself and withdraw from those that care about you. Try to stay active living your life as usual.
  • Don’t overuse alcohol or other substances to escape the pain. They’ll only make you more depressed and lead to further problems.
  • Don’t take revenge or try to smear your ex. Focus on yourself.
  • Don’t start talking to your ex too soon. Take time to determine what you really want.

For a confidential—and free– 15 minute chat about your situation, make an appointment here.